Well, it’s that time of year folks. Social media and the world wide web is flooded with posts about New Year’s resolutions and tips to help you stick to them.
Can I just be frank? I hate New Year’s resolutions and the anxiety they bring. They’re never kept because there aren’t any real consequences to breaking them. I think I penned a few to paper in my early twenties but I haven’t bothered since. I do, however, spend time in reflection as each year comes to an end. In addition to the “failures” or as I prefer to call them, lessons learned, I look back to all the events that shaped my year, set my path, and brought me growth. I find it especially useful to make note of the opportunities which opened new doors for me and give thanks for them. I don’t know about you but I fail to give thanks for so many things when I’m in the moment. Not because I’m ungrateful … often times I’m simply lost in thought (a common occurrence for a creative), other times I just fail to see the moment for what it is. You know what they say about hindsight!
With that said, clarity is something I’m adding to my “Intentions List” this year. Before I get into why clarity is one of my most earnest intentions for 2016 and before I confuse you, let me differentiate between intentions and resolutions. A resolution is an act or process to resolve something. The focus is on the past and solving problems or issues that didn’t work for us, e.g., I want to have better relationships, lose weight, get a better job, etc.
An intention focuses on possibilities, not solving a problem. They are future focused and mentally brought about by positive thinking. Remember how I demonstrated the power of your thoughts and words with the Happy/Sad apple experiment? What you speak about yourself, your future, and your dreams carries enormous power! Setting intentions with faith, in contrast to resolutions, will leave you excited, not anxious or fearful of failure.
Stick with me … I’m getting to the point of clarity! My personal life has had me in a fog for most of 2015. I’ve never been one to share my private life but a dear friend reminded me that we all have a story and sometimes that story, as painful as it is to tell, can offer another the encouragement they need. I knew she was right and inspiring others has always been the purpose of my blog but I wanted to keep the curtain up until I felt like the wounds had healed. The universe always follows up and pushes it’s agenda! I began to see photos and memes like this every time I logged on to social media …
So, I’m sharing my fog to make way for clarity! I’ll spare you all the minute details but, 2015 has been the most turbulent, life changing year of my life, friends. I’m a lover of words but I honestly can’t think of any to describe the kind of pain I’ve experienced this year. I’m talking about pain that cripples you, rips the breath from your lungs and induces the kind of crying that alters your appearance, i.e., wrinkles you.
I grieved the death of my 21 year marriage, which also ushered in the loss of extended family and friends, my home and my shop. I let go of the visions I’d always held for my family and felt the most gut wrenching guilt and sorrow over the broken hearts of my kids. In the midst of all this I said my final goodbyes to the first man I ever loved, the strongest man I’ve ever known, my daddy. You really can’tunderstand the sorrow unless you’ve experienced it but trust me when I say, it changes you. The year is coming to an end and I have more good days than bad but I know grief doesn’t live by a calendar. I know there will be challenges as I continue to transition into a life I’ve never known without people I’ve always known. As I mentioned here, I am still reminding myself to stop and just breathe. For as long as there is breath in me, there is hope!
Speaking of hope…that is what intentions are built upon! I intend to journey through 2016 WITH clarity! I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe everything and everyone is connected. All the aforementioned heartache has produced growth, empathy, and strength! I couldn’t see it as such when I was lost in it but I believe I can learn to do so. I want so badly to see the good in each challenge AS it is set before me! I want my mind to be always fixed on the positive! I want to acknowledge each person whose path crosses mine and discern the connection for what it is. I want to distinguish the lessons in each trial I face. It is my heart’s desire to give support and be an inspiration, even in the midst of my own chaos … it takes clarity to do that! Hindsight is great, but ohhhhh- how marvelous my praise would have been had I recognized the good in each moment of despair this year.
My story is still being written and I’m in charge of the pen! I’m prepared to write about deep love, distant travels, and life experiences my thoughts can’t even conjure up right now! Sharing intentions brings them into existence, so with a heart full of hope and a believing mind, I will speak them, write them, and share them. I welcome you to share yours with me too! I’m a really good dream buddy and will do my part in helping you see your intentions come to fruition too!
I wish you could understand how thankful I am for this creative outlet you allow me to share with you. Life journeys can be arduous but the walk is always easier with company. I adore each and every one of you! Big. Smooches.